Now You're Just Somebody That I Used To Know

I am one of those weirdos that have only been in TWO relationships. The first was just some asshole who I ran away with just to escape my mother. Who didn't think that was going to be a horrible idea? Even I knew it was stupid, but yet, I still moved in with the moron after four whole months. We had a quaint little house out in Stallings, North Carolina. If you don't know where that is, don't feel bad, it's even confused about where it is. That story you can read in previous blog posts. However, I thought things had changed once I met my most recent ex. He seemed like a good guy. We both swept right on each other, you know a match made in heaven. Sorry, I almost spit my coffee out when I re read that. We messaged back and forth, finally exchanged numbers. One night I had plans to go out with a group of friends, which I had told this guy. Lets refer to him as... Frodo. Frodo, asked what the plan was for the evening. I told him we would do one of two things.... Either go to Montford, or start off at a bar uptown and head to NoDa. We ended up going to Montford, and I  informed Frodo of our plans. He then told me, if by chance we end up in NoDa to let him know, and he'd meet us out and buy me a drink. Which I agreed.

The night goes on and I once again inform Frodo that I will be staying in the Montford area. We didn't speak the rest of the night. I get home after two AM, and I have a novel of messages from Frodo. Pretty much a drunken banter of how I stood him up and how he opened himself up to meet someone in his neighborhood. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I don't think I even responded. However, I do have the entire thread in my email from the moment we started talking due to some of the context of our conversations. Mainly since he was dating someone when we first met, and he had to tell her about me. Anyways, the next day, I went to the bar my brother and a few of my friends worked to have lunch and a few drinks to tie over the pending hangover. He messages me apologizing and inviting me to lunch that wednesday, which I agreed to. Lunch wasn't bad, we met at a local brewery and talked over flatbread pizza. We had already realized we had a lot of common interest, some he tried later on down the road as his own. Which I corrected really quick. He then invited me on a REAL first date. Which, I wasn't aware of until the day of the date. I found odd, it was almost, like he spoke to my friends and asked them what my favorite restaurant was, and what I would love to do.

So, he picks me up. Once I get in the car, he tells me... I am taking you to something, I think you'd really like, plus, I hope you like mexican! Umm yea, I own a shirt that says, HOLY SHIT, I LOVE TACOS! We start driving and I immediately ask, where we are going and name my favorite place. He says yes. I then say, there is a Big Mama's Show in the area. He says, yea, that's where we are going. In my mind, I am doing a little happy dance and thinking Holy Fuck, this guy my actually get me. At the time I didn't think that it seemed weird, due to the excitement. We finish up dinner and head next door. I am sitting on a stool by the bar and he says, We need a picture together, you know, to see how we look together. He then asks a stranger to take a photo of us. Not at bad photo, however, we weren't really posed for it. After awhile, I tell him this has always been a dream of mine, do perform burlesque. He tells me I should do it, that I am hotter than half the women there. In my mind I am thinking this guy is pretty nifty. I excuse myself and return a few minutes later. A woman in a burlesque costume approaches us and tells me she saw me at the restaurant next door. I then find it kind of odd that this just happened after I come back. Especially, when we have talked about how much I want to get into burlesque.

However, during this entire dating process, which lasted about seven months. Things kept getting weirder and weirder. I caught him in the act of cheating numerous times, yet I over looked it. For whatever reason. It's not like I had a good reason to, not like the sex was amazing. We would make plans, (his idea) then he would forget and surprise me at the last minute, saying he'd forgotten and had made plans with his friends doing something else. He would always talk about how hot he thought my best friend was. I brought it up one day, and he apologized. I am like wtf? He would even tell his friends, in front of me. I swear I am starting to feel like I have the sign that only douche bags can see, that reads: I'm fucking naive, try to date me! He went on a cruise, he would talk about the engagement ring he was going to buy me, saying shit like "eventually when you move in"  I am over here nodding my head, thinking what a fucking retard. Oh well, its over, hes moved on and hopefully isn't acting like an idiot with this girl. Since it's Sunday, and it's time for football, I bid you adieu. GO PANTHERS

Stop the talking baby Or I start walking baby...

So, let me get this straight... I am busy at work, you are blowing up my phone with a bunch of nonsense. I tell you I am busy, you complain that I don't want to hang out with you. I am trying to drive home and you again, are blowing up my phone asking what I am doing this weekend. When I get home, I remind you that I have an important job, and I have been extremely busy today. I also apologize to you for not getting back to you sooner and you tell me I am insulting your intelligence. Ok, now for a little back story. I met this dude ONCE at a bar. He seemed nice, but, wasn't really what I was looking for. However, I kept in touch. Well, one night I am home alone having dinner, watching movies and relaxing. This guy randomly texts me asking for a picture of my boobs! I tell him no, that I don't know him that well, and that's not something that I do. He flips out and starts calling me names, telling me that I am not serious about getting to know him. All because I wouldn't send him a picture of my boobs.

I thought I was quite clear when I told him I didn't want to see him again, weeks prior to this little incident. Well, the dude is like that annoying cat that came back the very next day. He just won't go away. Well, he tried a few more times to get me to go out a few weeks ago. Which I respectfully turned down. Then one night, I get this text. Telling me, that I am ugly, fat, gross, etc. I respond back with a brand new picture of my in my favorite little black dress, saying.. This is what I look like now. After all he hasn't seen me in I don't know seven months? The next day, he sends me a text telling me just how sorry he is, that he didn't mean what he said. That he was drunk, and upset. Well, asshole, you can go play in traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike during holiday travel!

Now, again, he's back! Back to suck the life out of me. Dude, I don't want to go out with you. It takes you longer to get ready than it takes me. You have so much grease in your hair, it's hazardous if it rains. Also, don't even get me started on your shitty tattoos. Seriously, if you are going to have full sleeves, invest in a GOOD tattoo artist. He also wears really expensive jeans, with suspenders that he doesn't even use. They just hang down. Who even does that?  Now, he's all butt hurt because I don't want to see him. He thinks my valid excuses are bull shit, but I really do wash my hair for four straight hours every day! A girl has to deep condition! But really, he's a lose cannon and I don't want to be there when the fuse is lit. Oh what's even better, he claims to have social anxiety, yet, still wants us to go to the bar together and is also a psychology major at the local university. He doesn't have a job and drives a beat up old truck. He told me he got into some trouble and had to move to South Carolina with his sister. He also, will not tell me what kind of trouble he got into. So ladies, if you meet a guy who fits that description.. RUN.  By the way this is the picture I sent when he called me fat and ugly. 😘

You will remember me...

I am at that time in my life when, I am ready to settle down and find that special person that I want to annoy for the rest of my life. I finally have a career that I love, even though I have to be up at 5am. I get to bring my hairy beast with me. I have amazing co workers who are like the brothers I never wanted. However, I'd like to have someone to enjoy my life with. Someone who is loving, caring, funny and adventurous. Who has a big heart and wants to show how much he loves me. Who will occasionally surprise me with my favorite flowers, or cheer me up after a bad day. Who allows me to be myself and have my own life outside of what we share. A man who will watch football, go camping, enjoy home cooked meals and make me feel like I am his world. However, sadly. Life isn't a fairytale. Breaking hearts comes to easy. For someone like me who has rules when it comes to dating, it's hard for me to get a second date. When it comes to meeting men, I'm not looking for hookups, booty calls or one night stands. I also, don't want all of your free time. Or to even see you everyday. I don't want to jump into something, like my last relationship which took me almost two years to get over. I know, that there is someone out there for me. 

I will never forget what that man said to me who found me outside after my breakup. "He's looking for you and won't stop until he finds you. He will put you on the pedestal that you deserve to be placed upon" Anyone who knows me knows I am not a religious person. However, I will always consider that man an angel. From the moment he stopped me and said "he's not worth the tears" I felt like everything was going to be alright. Every time I think of that day, I cannot help but to cry. It makes me realize when I am down, that the world isn't over and everything in the end will work out as it should. 

I have done a lot in 32 years, I've worked with lions, managed political campaigns, worked for Newsweek and even spent time with my idol. I have made an idiot of myself in front of players from the Houston Rockets. I have been to CPAC, DNC and have met with congress members on the hill, salsa danced with a presidential candidate during a presidential dinner. I am outspoken, blunt and occasional curse like a drunken sailor. I am a natural redhead, I have tattoos, I'm not afraid to work for what I have and what I need. I prefer the mountains over the beach. I'd like to watch the sunset with a glass of wine and watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee (black, two sugars) I believe every aspect of life has a silver lining and everything happens for a reason. I am not a religious person, and if you get to know me. I'll give you the reason why. I have been through a lot both good and bad. 

I am at that point where having someone to spend not just my nights, but my days as well with. I have never been the kinda girl to sleep or date around. It was never my style. I wear a lot of ball caps, ripped up jeans and yoga pants. I also love my little black dresses, pencil skirts and stilettos. I'd be more than content if I could wear flip flops 90% of my life. 

Issues with layout

I apologize I have tried multiple times to change the lay out. However, no matter how much I change it. When viewing from a mobile device. It still looks like crap. 

You've got a friend

You've got a friend

June 20, 2011

So why is it, once you enter a relationship, you no longer have your friends? Is it a rule, that once you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, your boyfriends and girlfriends are no longer of importance?  Girls get jealous of their boyfriends female friends, and vice versa! If you care about someone, shouldn't you take them as they are? When you meet that person, do you customize them? Make them change their hair color, change the way they dress? No! You love everything about them.
I learned a long time ago, when I was in a situation where; my friends were not good for me, and the way I dressed wasn't appropriate. However, his friends were good for me, and whatever he wanted to do was appropriate! I hate to break it to you boys out there! Just because you have a penis doesn't make you king!
For you ladies out there, who do the same thing... You are not the queen!
When it comes to relationships, you shouldn't change your whole life around, to make that person happy! If you are someone they want to be with, they should like everything about you! You should still be allowed to live your life, and "do you"
 There has been plenty of times, where I've had guy friends, who I would hang out with, watch movies, play scrabble, etc... THEY WERE JUST FRIENDS!!  Then they get girlfriends, and adios! I never see them, or talk to them anymore. They are gone, luckily because of Facebook, and having girlfriends who take pictures of EVERYTHING they do, I know they are still kickin!
The way I look at it, is... If your friends were there before the significant other, they are going to be there after! I learned my lesson before, I got rid of my friends, then... When I had to leave my ex, I had to beg for forgiveness from my friends! That was a lot of arse to kiss!
That is a subject every couple needs to talk about! Surprisingly people have just friends! Also the way it boils down, is if you are that insecure about something that ridiculous... It's not going to work! Another if you are constantly accusing them of  cheating or whatever it may be, we immediately think you have a guilty conscious  and that is your way of  coming clean.

Friends are forever, boyfriends and girlfriends are easily replaceable!

Who is the little guy?

Who is the little guy?

September 12, 2011

 Most guys treat sex like car problem, bigger wrench, pull/push harder, etc. When in essence all you have to do to bond and have mind blowing sex is form a real and true connection-- almost on any level. Once you do that, the gloves are off. Patience pays when it comes to women and real sex.. That's according to my friend Robert! Which is very true! That's one thing I have never truly understood.. Sex on the first date? What's the point?

First of all, you have to mental connection! Second of all, how much do you know about this person? What's their last name? Do they have any siblings? When is their birthday??  I'm told by many of my guy friends, that if you sleep with them on the first date, they will never have a serious relationship with you!

Then why do they try? C'mon their guys, they only really truly think with the head that's being held back by their flashy button up fly! I do wonder when they are on that first date... hmmm... when do they decide if they are going to try? Is it part of their stupid little game they play to get you to jump into bed (or the backseat depending on what kinda girl you are)? I've met plenty of guys, that when I've said it's not going to happen, they move on! Their loss not mine!

Still my favorite is still the guy who gets drunk intentionally, and then looks at you and says... "So where am I sleeping?"
Just for me to look right back over, and say... "Your house if you can make it, i'll even walk you to your car!"  Today in this world, just like Lil' Kim said... If a guy has three girls than he's the man, if a girl do they same then she's a whore! So who came up with that? some jerk with little man syndrome?

My whole reason isn't to bash men... They have good tendencies.. They mow grass, open jars, lift heavy things, and some are just pretty to look at! Ooooh nothing better than a tall man with muscles and tattoos, not wearing a shirt lifting something heavy, and wiping the sweat from his brow... ok, snap out of it, enough day dreaming! Or is it enough... lalalala

I am the girl your father warned you about!

I am the girl your father warned you about!

February 6, 2012

I've always been the one to go after anything I wanted! I'm not afraid to step on toes, and I make sure I dig my three inch stiletto deep into your big toe! I don't only march to the beat of my own drum, I dance to it! I never wanted to be the old lady, who sits in her favorite chair, while working on her needle point, and wondering what I did with my life. I get involved in everything I can. I've stared in short films, played extras in movies, been in commercials, ran over a guy with a truck, and got paid for it! I've protested against unconstitutional laws, I'm not afraid to speak my mind, I love getting my hands dirty.

I was speaking with someone today, when they asked me what would happen if I were to be attacked by someone. I smiled and said, they better hope I don't have my bat! Only for them to look back at me and say "you know they make pepper spray?" Only for me to laugh, and tell them i'm much faster with a bat, than pepper spray! I've done a lot of things in my life I'm not proud of. I've been in situations, where the only thing I could do was pray. I wasn't even sure if anyone was listening, yet, I prayed as hard as I could! I fought the battle against drugs, against stupidity, and made it to where I am today!

I never thought in a million years, or even a few years ago when I was still with my ex, yet, fearing for my life everyday. That I would be the person I am today! I learned a lot in those five years, I never take shit from anyone, I yell, I scream, and I get my point across! I do what I want, and enjoy getting what I want! I decided a few years ago, that Karma will play a major role in your life! You can either do what's right and benefit, or be a weasel, and become Hammurabi's bitch! I don't know about you, but, I like having both my eyes, as well as both my hands. I also remember Hilter's scene in Little Nicky. I don't want any pineapples shoved up my bum!

I feel that life is for living, make a difference, live hard, live long, life is too f'n short to do otherwise! Drink a mimosa for breakfast, eat candy for dinner! Get your way! Dance around your house in your underwear, get crazy, go sky diving, ride a horse! Do what makes you happy! Who cares what anyone else thinks! Hell, just the other day, I was feeling down, so, I asked the homeless man near my house, if he could have anything for dinner tonight what would it be. He looked at me, and said.. he could never collect enough money for what he really wanted. I told him, if he told me what he really wanted, whatever it was. I would make sure he would have it for dinner! Needless to say he had a feast!

There are plenty of things you can do everyday, to show faith in humanity!