A memo for today..

Realizing how much pain I am currently in, that has something to do with things that happened in my life 6 years ago. I feel as I should once again, speak out on abuse. If you are ever in a relationship, where you are abused in anyway shape or form, please seek the help you need to leave. You CAN make it on your own, you do NOT need your abuser to survive. Regardless of what they tell you, the gifts you receive. They will trick and brainwash you to stay. The pain doesn't end when you leave, it stays with you for life. This week, I cannot walk, stand, sit, move in any way, without being in excruciating pain. Throughout the day, I cannot decide if I want to cry, or vomit. Because, I was convinced to stay. Convinced that no one else would want me. That I was worthless, ugly, etc. I now, have a daily reminder of what I've been through. A reminder why, no matter how hard I try, I cannot trust. I cannot make a relationship work. My abuser didn't only take my youth, but dented my future as well. If you are being abused, please speak up, call me, call the police, get up and leave. I will happily do what I can to help you. Trust me, after one time, it's not worth any apology, any gift they can give you. Leave, don't look back! You are worth so much, there is someone out there for you, who will treat you as you should. Trust me. I wish I had someone who was there to tell me these things. Rather, I was told "you're lucky someone wants to be with someone like you" so, I stayed. I'm still paying for it.