I am the girl your father warned you about!

I am the girl your father warned you about!

February 6, 2012

I've always been the one to go after anything I wanted! I'm not afraid to step on toes, and I make sure I dig my three inch stiletto deep into your big toe! I don't only march to the beat of my own drum, I dance to it! I never wanted to be the old lady, who sits in her favorite chair, while working on her needle point, and wondering what I did with my life. I get involved in everything I can. I've stared in short films, played extras in movies, been in commercials, ran over a guy with a truck, and got paid for it! I've protested against unconstitutional laws, I'm not afraid to speak my mind, I love getting my hands dirty.

I was speaking with someone today, when they asked me what would happen if I were to be attacked by someone. I smiled and said, they better hope I don't have my bat! Only for them to look back at me and say "you know they make pepper spray?" Only for me to laugh, and tell them i'm much faster with a bat, than pepper spray! I've done a lot of things in my life I'm not proud of. I've been in situations, where the only thing I could do was pray. I wasn't even sure if anyone was listening, yet, I prayed as hard as I could! I fought the battle against drugs, against stupidity, and made it to where I am today!

I never thought in a million years, or even a few years ago when I was still with my ex, yet, fearing for my life everyday. That I would be the person I am today! I learned a lot in those five years, I never take shit from anyone, I yell, I scream, and I get my point across! I do what I want, and enjoy getting what I want! I decided a few years ago, that Karma will play a major role in your life! You can either do what's right and benefit, or be a weasel, and become Hammurabi's bitch! I don't know about you, but, I like having both my eyes, as well as both my hands. I also remember Hilter's scene in Little Nicky. I don't want any pineapples shoved up my bum!

I feel that life is for living, make a difference, live hard, live long, life is too f'n short to do otherwise! Drink a mimosa for breakfast, eat candy for dinner! Get your way! Dance around your house in your underwear, get crazy, go sky diving, ride a horse! Do what makes you happy! Who cares what anyone else thinks! Hell, just the other day, I was feeling down, so, I asked the homeless man near my house, if he could have anything for dinner tonight what would it be. He looked at me, and said.. he could never collect enough money for what he really wanted. I told him, if he told me what he really wanted, whatever it was. I would make sure he would have it for dinner! Needless to say he had a feast!

There are plenty of things you can do everyday, to show faith in humanity!

Oh, she's a gold digger.. that digs on me...

Oh, she's a gold digger.. that digs on me...

(February 22, 2012)

So why do men LOVE  gold diggers, and attention whores?? What gets men off by having some selfish, self absorbed, and on most cases I've seen.. unattractive, little girl want them? Is it some weird psychological fatherly instinct? Is it they think they can't get a real woman? Why do those guys get defensive when you call them a player? The way I look at it, is some girls for some reason have horrible insecurities. It keeps them from being the person they wish they could aspire to be, and it turns them into lime light chasing wannabes! I guess it's too much for a successful man to want a successful woman, because then who would wear the pants in the relationship? God forbid a powerful woman, who is normal finding a powerful man.

Then again, I can't say it surprises me! I go around uptown Charlotte, I look at the men, who are taking home a different girl every night, buying every girl they see a drink, and they look proud. Just like daddy lion when he brings home a zebra caucus for his cubs, and lioness. It makes men feel proud to be the ones who get the most, the won who wins the race, they have with their inner ego! Oh, have you seen the chicks, when they see a shiny new car, or a group of guys sitting in a VIP section, ordering bottles of belvedere. Those guys know your game! Surprisingly they have whore-dar! They can spot you! Don't worry they are just as stupid as you, so it won't be any battle of wits, so go ahead gold diggers, take a sigh of relief! You wont actually have to think!

It's people like this who ruin society! I really hate when you give someone a chance, just to find out they are wrapped around one of those, girls fingers! I hate to bring it to your attention, but there is more to relationships than money, fast cars, and your social status! It surprises me when I meet someone just to find out, they are in fact the person that I despise! Even though his friends tell you he's such a good guy, and you put yourself on the line. Just to find out all they want to do is use you and lie to you! Seriously? I'm not one of these dumb girls who only wants to be eye candy, and love you for your money! I actually have my own opinions, and am not afraid to say whats on my mind!

Then again, you tell them what you really think, they get confused. Thank that digger for that! All those mind games she's been playing on him, confuses his little man brain! He actually thinks you are talking about someone else! "Sweetie, I'm so sorry he made you feel that way"
"Umm who are you referring to? I was talking about you!" Then they freak out! Holy strawberry Batman, you don't care! They don't know what to do, except... Yep, you got it LIE!
They have no clue what you're talking about, then they try to reel you back in. Hmmm what move can they make on this life size chess board. They try to cover their ass by playing the game, they've been played with! Just for you, yes you Powerful Woman, you! You, to Check, Mate!

Then the game ends, they start asking you really unusual questions, because they realize they have lost, and you are in fact the master! You know these questions have to do with another girl, even though they don't admit it! They still hope you are kinda dumb, and wont figure it out. Now to the best part! They have lied so much, they don't think they are going to get caught! GOD FORBID, that girl the attention whore, I was referring to, post everything!!! Hmmm.. excuse me Mister, would you like to pick your dignity up off the floor, or just let your balls continue to shrivel up and fall off?

The fun part? They are dumb enough not to understand, that you actually get whats going on! You thought you met a normal guy, that was sweet, and real! I mean, someone I trust, tells me, go for it! Then when I tell that friend I'm done, he tells me not to! I listen! Guess what happens... Come on take a wild guess... Yea! You're right, He's full of it, fuller than before! There is so much drama! I think every man needs to ask himself, if he was himself, but didn't have the money, the cars, or the houses, would these gold diggers, and attentions whores want anything to do with them?? I highly doubt it, when you guys loose it all, they will not be there to pick up the pieces! Hopefully, you haven't pissed off the real woman, who you decided to push to the side, and she's there with a broom and dustpan in hand!

I hope this makes a lot of you think, deep and hard! Look carefully at the people you surround yourself with!

Excuse Me Mr. Creeper

Excuse Me Mr. Creeper

(June 17, 2012)

So, friday night, I meet a girl friend of mine out at a local bar. I make my way through the slightly crowded top bar to find my friend at the back bar which is called "the yard." I find my friend talking to a man, we will call this man Max! She introduces us, and we all start talking. My friend brings up a conversation we were having earlier in the day, about  a bra that I had purchased.

Ok, so this will make sense, I will recap the earlier event for you! I had gone shopping a few days earlier, Victoria's Secret, was having their semi annual sale! I dislike shopping so in a rush to get what I wanted and get out, I grabbed a nude colored bra in my size (36D) and made a dash for the register! Well what I failed to realize is that the bra I had chosen was from their Gorgeous line! It adds two cup sizes. Which I still think is odd that they make them for D cups! This bra makes me a 36F! Umm yea, no thanks! Well earlier friday, while getting ready, I tried the bra on with the shirt I was planning on wearing that evening. The shirt wouldn't fit, due to adding two cup sizes to my already large chest! I texted my friend telling her the hilarious story about the bra, and how my shirts failed to fit, while wearing said bra!

She brings up this conversation in Max's presence, so I relay the same story I did for you! My friend leaves to fetch a drink, and leaves me with Max. Max introduces me to as I like to call him Mr. Creeper! Max looks at Creeper, and asks him to guess my bra size! Creeper looks  befuddled at the question. He then introduces himself to me, and Max points out that he is Canadian. I did not know that this conversation would lead to Mr. Creeper standing over my shoulder the entire night.

I don't understand why men, get some creepy sometimes. Do they really think we find it amusing that they stalk us out like prey? Maybe, that is just me, but, I find it menacing!

I know you fool around all day No it doesn't hurt me anyway, I am alright

After a year of being single, (it was a horrible break up) I finally put myself out there to start dating again. I actually met a guy, a nice, sweet and tall guy. He seemed great from the moment we started texting. Our first date was almost to perfect. He picked me up even opened doors. He took me to the aquarium, we bought water guns and balloons. He took me to the park for a picnic, before we ate we actually broke out in a water gun and balloon fight. After eating, we took a walk around the parks lake to dry off. He then took me to get milkshakes, which isn't something I care for, however it seemed to excite him.
When we arrived at my apartment complex he we talked for a bit, then he got out to hug me. He tried to kiss me and backed off. I smiled and said "then don't kiss me" which he then followed by a kiss. We continued to talk after that and saw each other two more times.
I actually liked this guy and felt I could trust him. I was excited to hear from him, I had butterflies each time I thought of him. Yet, I knew (knowing my track record) that it wasn't going to be all I had hoped. Then again, he proved himself to not be Mr. Right immediately. However, I guess with each conquest, you learn more about yourself, who you want to be and what you want. I have had so much going on in my life these past few weeks. Three good friends passed away, an aunt and uncle involved in a horrible car accident. I guess my way of coping with all of the stress was falling for someone wayyyy too quickly. It did make me realize, I am ready for a relationship, I am ready to actually fall in love. I am more than ready to be happy again and to make someone else happy!

Once In A Blue Moon

You know, like most young girls.. I always dreamt of this great guy who is going to sweep me off my feet. Who will whisk me away and spend eternity together. Then I got a boyfriend, and I realized fairy tales, are just tales. There isn't a prince, maybe just some regular guy who turns out to make your heart race a little faster than normal. That makes your arrector pili muscles work overtime by just the thought of a kiss. Then, times goes by and all of those things disappear. You get your heart broken and you sit in your bed, listening to iTunes and eating cinnamon toast crunch out of the box. You think to yourself, if you hadn't of met this guy where would you be right now? Would you still be sitting there looking like a depressed raccoon, overdosing on sugar? You think about how the entire relationship went down. How great it was during the "honeymoon stages" You used to wake up to cute little handwritten notes and an occasional single flower and then, you started waking up hoping he wasn't breathing! Hey, I know in my case, I had my own reasons. My first love was a horrible person. The honeymoon faded a lot quicker than the black eyes and the busted lips. Yet, I stayed! I was promised we were going to spend forever together. Things would get better. Like any abuser, there came the gifts. A new TV, because, he threw a shoe at the old one because, I ducked just in time. A pair of small diamond earrings. Shoes, clothes, trips, etc. Long story short, turns out I was paying for all of that. The jerk opened up numerous credit cards under my name. Five years later, I pulled myself together and got the hell out of dodge. Learned who my real friends were, swallowed my pride and moved home. 

It took me a few years before I could trust anyone. Then I met this guy who I thought was actually that guy, who was going to sweep me away. He did, for about seven months. Then spent the next 8 accusing me of sleeping with his friends and following his new girl friend on social media. Because, I have enough time to do any of that! Here I am again, in the same boat as before, attempting to date and meet men. Just to go on a date, find them incredibly annoying and blocking their number as soon as I am in the safety of my own apartment! I haven't given up hope completely. I sit at home, watching Romantic Comedies, which I find myself balling my eyes out by the end. It makes me feel like I have some hope in finding some form of love. Then again, my parents are divorced, dad on his second marriage with a new family and my mother is the kind of woman who hides Jack Daniels in diet coke bottles in her linen closet and serial dates weird men she meets in bars at Myrtle Beach. However, I do see these sweet elderly couples out and about, and I realize that I do want that. I want the kiss goodnight, every night. Someone who tells me I am beautiful, when I want to bite his head off due to hormone overload. 

Unfortunately, I am starting to think true love no longer exists. We women have Nicholas Sparks putting these ideas in our heads that we will fall in love with some guy because we are not supposed to. When in fact, love is going to have to be something that takes a lot of work. There will be tears, yelling, kisses, hugs, fights and makeups! However, just like anything you want, you must work for it. I highly doubt, that I am going to walk into a room and see this man and feel like I am being pulled to him magnetically. Our eyes meet across a crowed room, blah blah blah. However, I am going to be 32 this year and I feel like I am wasting time, because I am scared. I don't want to get hurt again. It's happened too many times already and I am not sure if I can take another one. Like I said, I still have hope. I believe there is some man out there who falls into my idea of a perfect man. He will show up on our first date with a sunflower, and show me what I have spent all this time missing. It may not happen this year, but hopefully soon! 

My first

This was the first blog I wrote back in 2010

Now, that I'm in my late twenties, I've realized that I am in fact ready to settle down. I want to find the special person who makes me feel like I am complete. However, to get to that point, you have to go on multiple dates, with all the wrong guys. As your getting ready for each date, you put on your make up, pick out the perfect outfit, and hope that this one could possibly be the one. Then you walk into a crowded wine bar, to see the blind date you've been set up with standing in the corner sipping on a corona. You think to yourself, "should I slowly back out, and hope he doesn't see me?" Ooops too late, you've been spotted. You make your way over to find that the "tall handsome banker" you were supposed to meet, is balding, but, still has more hair on his head than the teeth in his mouth. YIKES!

There is always that guy, the one your friend sets you up with, who they think is perfect for you! Obviously, your friend needs to learn something about you, because setting you up with a Jersey Shores reject really isn't your cup of herbal tea! You go on date after date, after long painful date. Well, at least there is dinner... right?  There's been a few times, I've just had to part ways, before the server could bring the drinks. Heck, I've even had a date leave me, at the restaurant because, he just couldn't take a joke! Seriously, where are the guys who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty, take less time to get ready than I do, and a sense of humor is a MUST!!!  We are all aware that prince charming doesn't really exist, if you do think that, here is a free reality check! No one is perfect, however someone is perfect for you! Just keep fishing, you will keep catching guppies for a while, but, one day, when your line tugs, there will be a prize winner waiting for you, just don't try to mount it on your wall :-)

When I decided to leave, I moved home. I was happy to find out one of my best friends was moving back as well. When she arrived she introduced me to dating websites. So, I made a profile, uploaded a few photos, and hoped I wasn't going to meet Charlie Manson. So, a guy emailed me, Cute photos, great job, seemed really nice.  Ummm yea, so I meet him at a bar,  he was surrounded by empty cocktail glasses (and, I was early). Shortly after I arrive his speech starts slurring, and he starts yelling. I try my hardest to start acting crazy, saying things like "I always carry a knife, just in case I have to stab someone" his response "That's SO hot" No matter what I said it did not turn this guy off. Luckily I convinced him I was tired and wanted to go home.
For some reason I decided to keep on keepin' on! Date #2  Owner of a construction company. Seemed like a nice guy, once again, cute photos. His idea for a date, Bobcats game!! Of course, I had never been to one, and being the huge sports fan that I am; I was very excited!! He then tells me he's getting courtside tickets!! I'm getting more and more excited. So I meet the guy at the arena before the game. After introducing himself he then tells me he hasn't gotten tickets yet, and need to buy them. UGH really?? He then buys floor seats from some guy off the street. Ended up being pretty good seats! Then we sit down, the game starts, I'm focused into the game! What does #2 do?? Starts talking... Once again UGH!  He's also trying to convince me, not only is he just that awesome, he is a stunt crotch rocket rider, and he busted his sprocket! I excuse myself to the ladies room. The lady that was sitting a few seats down from us approaches me, asking if it was our first date. I told her yes, she asked if there would be a second one, I smiled and said "NO"
After the game, we meet some of my friends at a bar across the street. Luckily, I was able to ditch him. Later I find out he asked my best male friend if I was in fact a whore, and slept with a lot of guys.

A night on the town

The Rolling Stones said it best... You can't always get what you want, but, if you try sometimes you get what you need!! 

However sometimes what you need, gets you into quite a bit of trouble!


 You roll over look at your clock, and see that time has arrived, the time a day where it all begins! You wake up everyone morning.. Just hoping that it is going to be a wonderful day! You sit up in bed, stretch your arms, and make that growling yawn, that sounds like a mix between an angry bear, and a dying trojan soldier. You wipe your eyes, and roll out of the fort you built during all the tossing and turning you did during the night. Your feet slip into your fuzzy leopard print slippers you pull on your silky robe, and make your way into the bathroom, to wash off the disgust you acquired the night before! You look in the mirror, and think to yourself, or even say in a soft whisper.. "what the @#$% happened?" Your eyes are blackened with the glamorous smokey eye you achieved before starting the night, but wonder when exactly you started transforming into a cracked out raccoon. Your hair is a whole different story! Seriously, was I in a Ke$ha look a like contest?? You start looking through your iPhone,  you see you called almost everyone you know including you know including your boss, an ex, and arch enemy, and even some numbers you randomly dialed! You can't even imagine what you would have said! You are terrified to look at your text messages, you know if you took the time to personally call people, who knows what you texted to people!


You step into the shower, and as the water is running over you, and your starting your lather, rinse, repeat, ritual images start flowing! You start remembering, there was a lot of loud music, there was a lot of dancing, a lot of drinking, you even danced on a table... Ok, that sounds like every night on the town! As you smother your hair with your deep conditioner, and start shaving your legs, you notice a big bruise on your leg, and OUCH! it freakin' hurts! What the hell happened! You rush to finish, get out dry off, put your robe and slippers on. Run outside your house, hair still soaking wet, and you sigh with relief! Good news, you didn't drive, your car is not in your driveway! Crap! did I drive and it was stolen! A look of confusion appears on your face! You walk inside and you smile, there is a receipt, from a cab company! You walk into your living room, there is a lump covered in blankets! You tip toe over to your fire place, and grab that log poking stick (what is that thing called anyways??) You want to poke the lump! The lump grumbles, you get a little nervous... who is under there! I head pops up! You see the face, it's not familiar. You ask the blonde surfer looking boy who he is! He looks at you and tells you, you and your friend tried to pick up him and his boyfriend. You can't help but to laugh! Then you remember your best friend is asleep in your guest room! You run up to wake her up! The surfer boy fills us in...


apparently this is how your night went!

• You started off pre-gaming with straight grape vodka
• You got a cab uptown
• You drank more
• You danced on a few tables
• You got lost and departed from your friend!
• You yelled and hit a bouncer with your shoe, when he tried to help you
• Your phone finally rings, and you find your friend.. She's in a cab on the street
• You pick up a gay guy who takes you to a gay bar, because they still serve until four am!
• His boyfriend doesn't want to party, but he does, so you take him home
• The very nice gay guy tells you what you did the night before!

Hmmm.. Maybe Ole' Mick didn't say it best! 

Oh well, at least you are safe, and (so far) there isn't a warrant for your arrest!